i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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