Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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