Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
