One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
