so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
