I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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