my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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