Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
