never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
