You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You pole danced in your parka.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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