yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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