Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
