the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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