I feel like I'm in dance class right now
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
