just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
