elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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