I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Are my feet made of real feet?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize