considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
