Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
