Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
