We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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