I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize