you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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