You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
