I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
