Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
