i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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