I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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