Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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