I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize