Will you blow on my dice?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So much rum. So many feels.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
