"it" just moved
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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