apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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