Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize