sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
