Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My dick has a subreddit
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
