i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
