Where did you get a picture of my penis
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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