my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it was like eating out sand paper
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
