Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
