question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
