dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
