I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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