I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
