so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize