Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I've blown a few things in my day
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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