It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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