What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
