i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
