just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
