i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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