Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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