playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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