I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
