xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize