Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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