wat bout pragnant strippers??
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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