Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
