Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
