$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
