Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
