I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
