she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Randomize
