So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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