so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
