ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
