My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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