We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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